


The Closest to Heaven (That I'll Ever Be)

by NeedyLoneWolf



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, F/F, Falling In Love, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Love, Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-27 04:59:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12073989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeedyLoneWolf/pseuds/NeedyLoneWolf
Summary: Nicole and Waverly's first time, written from Nicole's perspective. Continuation of 2X02.





	The Closest to Heaven (That I'll Ever Be)

**Author's Note:**

> Continues from the moment Nicole lays Waverly down on the bed and the scene fades out. Nothing but sex, love, and sweetness.
> 
> ***This one-shot is an off-shoot and technically part of chapter 12 of my ongoing series, Guardian/Angel. If you enjoy my writing and care to slog through 60,000 words of an ongoing, original, "canonish" story, give it a try.***

She’s nervous.

I can tell by the way she’s looking up at me after I set her on the bed, the muscles in her jaw jump as she clenches her teeth and purses her lips.

I’m also nervous, but I’m too distracted by the way the light from the window is pulling gold highlights out of her hair and changing the color of her eyes from dark green to the blue-gray of deep water to notice that my hands are shaking a little. 

She’s laying back, propped up on her elbows with her shirt undone and her lips parted slightly, an equal mix of eager anticipation and reserved uncertainty. The intensity of the promise that exists in this moment can’t be overstated. She and I have waited such a long time, and been through so much, to be here together, in this moment, right now. 

“Nicole…I’ve…I’ve never done this before,” she says, her eyes darting off to one side. She drags them slowly back up to my face. Two bright red spots of color appear high up on her cheek bones and I reach forward with one hand to brush over her face lightly with my thumb. 

“I might not be that good,” she finishes, dropping her eyes again and plucking uncertainly at the bedspread.

I roll off of her onto one hip and settle beside her on the bed. The look she’s giving me is pure, raw trust, and I’m holding it in my hand like it’s as fragile as blown glass. 

“Waves,” I tell her gently, “I’m nervous, too.” I give her my most disarming smile. It’s all soft eyes and dimples, and it must be working because she smiles back hesitantly. 

“Really?” She asks. 

“Really.” I confirm. “Here, give me your hand.” 

I unbutton my shirt the rest of the way and I take her small, warm hand and place it carefully beneath my left breast, just below the underwire of my bra, where my heartbeat can be felt the most easily. I watch her expression go blank as she focuses.

My heart is pounding out of my chest.

She glances at me and smiles shyly, taking her hand away carefully. “Oh,” she says softly. “But…this isn’t your first time…you know, with a woman.”

“No baby, but it’s my first time with you.” I put the emphasis on “you.” I reach out and trail the tips of my fingers from her cheek to the side of her neck all the way down her torso to her hip bone. My chest isn’t the only place I can feel my pulse. 

“Is it different? From person to person?” She asks, watching my hand travel up and down her torso, over the ridge of her abdominal muscles.

“It is different,” I tell her. “There’s no rule book or procedure to follow. There’s no right or wrong. It can be anything we can want it to be.” As I speak, I sit up, pulling my shirt the rest of the way off, and after a beat of hesitation, I do the same with my bra. I’m completely bare from the waist up. 

I throw my right leg over her hips and straddle her.

Her eyes are huge, multicolored orbs. They flit from my eyes to my chest to my lips and back again.

I pull her all the way up so she’s sitting, and I’m in her lap. I very gently ease her shirt off as well, letting it fall behind her at the same time that I use the knuckle of my index finger to draw her mouth up to mine. She parts her lips to kiss me, but I draw back slightly, forcing her to chase me.

She exhales in a pretty, frustrated huff and grabs the back of my neck to close the distance between us. 

Her mouth is so, so hot, and she tastes so, so good. 

I let the kiss continue for a minute before I pull away to look in her eyes and check in.

Most of her hesitation is gone, but I can see that a single question remains.

“Yeah, baby?”

“Nicole…” She begins, her eyes dropping to my chest and her hand reaching up to cup one of my breasts. Her eyes are liquid fire. “If we’re both girls, who’s in charge?”

For a moment, I just stare at her. What a distinctly Waverly thing to ask. I remind myself of her very limited experience with a very limited person.

I could tell her that lesbian sex isn’t really that way, with one person always dominating the other.

I could tell her that it’s flexible.

I could tell her many different things, but I look into those smoldering eyes and see that none of these are the answer she's looking for. 

Instead I smile and blink at her slowly and purr, “I don’t know yet, beautiful.” I raise one eyebrow, and then I lean forward, brushing her hair back and whispering in her ear, “Maybe we should find out.”

The hand that’s resting on the back of my neck squeezes, hard. I feel her nails bite into the base of my skull. She groans. 

That was the right answer.

She abruptly drops her façade of hesitation and pulls my mouth to hers, kissing me with a passion and intensity that she had only hinted at in the past. Her tongue parts my lips and suddenly my whole world is narrowed down to the space between our mouths. Our breathing is audible and clipped and my hips are starting jump forward a little of their own volition. 

We break apart briefly, gasping, and breathlessly she says, “But I don’t know what to do.” 

I could see the internal struggle she was dealing with, her body and soul pulling her in one direction, her mind pulling her in the other.

I grab her by the hair at the nape of her neck, just a little roughly, and growl, “You will. I promise. Just stop thinking about it and let your body decide for you.”

She holds my gaze steadily. I can see the wheels in her head turning. Finally, she reaches behind her back, and unclips her bra, and lets it fall away. 

My brain throws the breaker switch and I sag forward, my jaw dropping open. I couldn’t have anticipated how perfect she would be in my wildest dreams. Her nipples are pink and hard, her breasts are white, unblemished, flawless.

A blank canvas. 

I dart my tongue out through my pursed lips and inhale through my nose. With difficulty, I resist the urge to lean forward and bite her. 

Not everyone likes the same things I do. 

She grabs me by the chin and pulls my face back up to hers and just before she kisses me, she whispers into my open mouth, “You like what you see?” 

She slides her tongue into my mouth.

“Uh huh,” I gasp.

“Yeah?” She looks me in the eye. “Prove it,” she commands, biting my lower lip. 

I had no idea she would be this talkative. 

I had no idea she would be this bossy.

I fucking love it.

I shift back a little, intending to lean down and draw one of her nipples into my mouth, but she stops me with a hand to my chest. 

“Wait, first take the rest of your clothes off,” she instructs.

I lift an eyebrow and cock my head to one side. “Maybe you should make me.”

Her reaction is instantaneous. She’s small, but she’s fierce and strong. She bucks her pelvis, lifting me off of her temporarily, and then uses my own momentum against me to flip me flat on my back onto the bed. 

Holy shit. 

Her eyes are dancing and the corner of her lips is curled into a smirk. She’s pleased with herself. She moves to stand between my legs and unbuttons my jeans. She lets her nails drag across my skin as she pulls my pants all the way down and off. I’m in nothing but my panties. 

She’s staring at me, transfixed, so I use her hesitation to my advantage, sitting up, hooking my thumbs in the waistline of her skirt, and pulling it down in one smooth motion. 

Time stands still for a moment because all we are capable of doing is staring at one another. 

I’ve been with many women. My life prior to Waverly was not what one would call chaste. I adore the female form in all of its various iterations, all of its endless variety. All I can do as I look at Waverly is wonder what I've done in this life or previous ones to deserve her.

When we make eye contact I realize something truly amazing. I can read her thoughts in her expression and I can see that she’s wondering the same thing, too.

I abruptly stand up, lean down, and scoop her up in my arms like I had done earlier, but this time with far less clothing to obstruct me. I pull her hips in hard and she wraps her legs around me.

The front of her panties is wet. I can feel it against my belly. 

“Oh, baby,” I whisper into her mouth. I’m physically incapable of remaining upright so I sit back down on the bed and she pushs me backward, leaning down and shoving my head aside to lick and bite my neck. While I’m distracted she shifts herself off to the side and brings her thigh up between my legs and leans her bodyweight through it. 

My eyes roll back in my head and my hands twist in the sheets and then she starts to rock her hips, forward and back. She abandons my neck to rest her forehead against mine and look into my eyes inquisitively.

“Yeah?” She asks softly.

I reach behind her and grab her ass, pulling her more firmly against me. We both gasp. 

“Fuck. Yes.” I mutter, holding onto her eye contact. I watch the question on her face dissolve into satisfaction as she moves down and swirls her tongue around one of my nipples. 

Oh, god. 

I ask myself how this could possibly be her first time.

Stupid question. 

It’s not. Not in the grand scheme of things, at least.

We’ve been coming together like this since time immaterial. We were made for each other. Maybe this is the first time for us in the bodies we’re in now, but our souls remember one another with perfect clarity. 

Making love like this comes naturally to both of us. 

Every time she grinds down it’s a little harder, a little more insistent. I can feel myself already teetering on the edge, I just need a push.

I twist my hand in her thick hair and pull her head up so she’s looking at me. Her eyes are heavily lidded, unfocused. She’s close, too.

It’s ridiculous. We’re still wearing underwear. 

“Waverly,” I gasp. “Bite me.”

Her eyebrows fly up into her hairline but the surprise instantly turns into pure lust. She bends her head back down and obliges me.

My entire spine arches off the bed. She has to grab my hips to steady me. She glances up through her eyelashes at me with an unspoken question on her face that says, “Like that?”

I look down at her, my cheeks are burning up. I can feel my back start to break out in a light sweat. I pull her hair a little and growl, “Like you mean it.” 

She’s a fast learner. The instant her teeth sink in, I’m over the edge. The contrast, pain and pleasure, is blinding. She lets go to come back up and bring our mouths together and just like that she comes too, exhaling hard into my open mouth. 

When it’s over, she lets her body weight sag down on top of me. We lay there for a second, and I can feel her heartbeat pounding in my chest and my own echoes it. 

“Nicole…” She whispers in a soft, spent tone. 

This is my opportunity. 

I roll out from underneath her and distract her by kissing her slowly, languidly, running my tongue over her lower lip and across her teeth. I draw away from her, reach down, and pull her panties down around and then over her ankles. I immediately bring my hand up to cup her and slide my tongue back in her mouth. 

I push against her with the pads of my index and middle fingers, expecting resistance. 

There is none. My fingers slide right in. 

I have to stop kissing her for a second. My eyelids flutter closed. 

Sensory overload. 

She is impossibly hot inside. The texture is pure silk. 

I’m distracted so I don’t notice when she sinks her fingers into my hair until she’s yanking, hard.

Her first orgasm tranquilized her, but she’s still a tiger.

Her eyes are glassy but I can see the steely glint as she whispers, “More.” Then she pulls my ear down to her lips and husks, “Like you fucking mean it,” and nips the cartilage of my ear.

I groan.

She is a tiger and in that moment I realize that everything we do together from this day forward will be at her behest. The question she asked me earlier is as good as answered. 

She is a stormy sea with towering black waves and I’m a ship riding each one to its peak and doing my best not to get swallowed up on the way down.

I have never in my life been with anyone like her. 

I sit up so I’m kneeling and I push all the way in, letting my fingers sink in to the last knuckle and then curling them at the end. She throws her head back and cries out, reaching down to grasp my wrist and pull me in further, harder. I let her set the rhythm, using her movements and the look on her face to guide me. 

When I see her expression start to twist up, I lean my head down and lick her slowly, from where the underside of my hand meets her flesh up and up and then around and around the hard bundle of nerves just over the spot where my fingers are curling inside her. 

I only thought she was loud before. 

I’m glad she doesn’t have neighbors. 

It doesn’t last, though. Her shrill gasp cuts off abruptly and her whole body goes rigid for a moment, suspended. 

Her legs shake and the muscles inside of her ripple around my fingers and the warm gush in the palm of my hand is the closest to heaven that I will ever be. 

Perfect.

I withdraw from her slowly, letting her get accustomed to the loss of my fingers. I settle in beside her and I notice she’s holding her face in her hands. At first I think she’s being shy and then I realize she’s crying.

“Baby,” I say gently. I take her wrists and pull her hands away from her face. “Hey, are you okay?”

She’s still out of breath. “I’m sorry,” she says, swiping at her eyes. “I don’t know why I’m tearing up.” She smiles uncertainly, she looks overwhelmed. 

“It’s okay, beautiful,” I say, smiling at her and wiping her wet cheek with my thumb.

“That’s never happened to me before. I mean, I’ve never had an orgasm with anyone else…but…I don’t know what that was.”

I kiss her softly. I mean for it to be just one kiss, but we can’t do that. She deepens it and pulls me in and it goes on for far longer than I expected. By the time we break away we’re both breathing hard again and the air between us seems to crackle with energy.

“Amazing,” I answer her breathlessly. “It was absolutely amazing, but it can be better.”

She rolls her eyes and looks at me skeptically, shaking her head and smiling. “I don’t think so.”

I reach down and squeeze her. She gasps. “I guarantee it.”

She reaches up and brushes my face with her fingertips, looking into my eyes with more love than I thought possible. “We don’t have to stop, do we?”

“No,” I reply softly. “We don’t.”

We kiss again, but before things can progress, I back off to look at her. I take a deep breath and I beg my heart to calm down. 

I pray for strength because I know what I want to say, but I can’t predict her response.

“Waverly, when I told you earlier that I like you, it was only partially true.”

She leans back a little to see me better. Her lips part and her eyebrows lift up and she watches my face with a raw curiosity and a look that clearly shows that her entire world revolves around me and what I’m about to say.

“I don’t just like you, Waves. I’m in love with you. I think…I think you’re my soulmate. This might sound crazy but I recognized you the first time I ever saw you. It was like my life suddenly made sense. I love you. I love everything about you and I really, really love this.”

If I gave a hundred writers a hundred years to come up with a way to accurately describe the look on her face in that moment, they would fall miserably short. 

“That doesn’t sound crazy,” She whispers. “I love you, too. I’ve loved you always.”

I kiss her with my eyes open, so I can watch her expression when I say,

“Show me.”

//

**Author's Note:**

> Drop me a comment or a kudos if you liked it. Thanks for reading!


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